Dear Son,
The day I found out you had been conceived my heart leaped
and the excitement and fear of the new world and lens of existence to come
flooded my mind and spirit. I knew then that anything and everything was truly
possible and what was to become of your life was limitless.
And the day I found out that your heat beat no more and your
development and journey into this world had ended before our lived experience even
began, my heart stopped; taking with it the air and life that your conception had
gifted. The days and months following your miscarriage I continued to tell
myself that everything happens in God’s time and that I and the world were not
ready for your arrival.
Today these very thoughts flooded back into my mind and
heart as I thought of the tragic murder of Tamir Rice. His life snuffed out
because his very presence in our society threatens their existence. His
innocence, your innocence, unseen and ignored; shadowed by his skin color and
the historical legacy that has been enshrined on the hearts and minds of so
many, that his life, your life, is less valuable and not worthy of existence,
if they decide.
Yes my son, our world and I were not ready. While we have
made great strides in transforming the laws and policies that govern our
society and have granted protections, equal access and opportunity; we have a
long road before us to transform that hearts and minds of those that authorize
and validate the internalized prejudice, fear and hate that continues to lead
to our graves.
As my heart ached at the reality that I will never
experience your existence, my heart aches today that we will never know the fullness
of Tamir Rice’s life and contributions to our world. He is yet another vessel
of light, love and possibility taken by fear, prejudice and racism and lost to
the indifference of society.
Today as I sit frozen in sadness, I raise a battle flag carrying
the names of Tamir Rice and all those that have been taken from us.
My son, it is my hope and prayer that one day if God shall
grant you passage; you are birthed into a world that will not fear your
presence in it, but will speak and affirm the infinite possibilities of your
existence.
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