As I step into the new year and reflect on all that the COVID-19 quarantine has brought to the surface of my awareness about self and the world around me, I find myself asking several key questions.
- What have I been assuming to be true?
- What have I been consuming that has fueled my assumptions and framed what I see, what I understand and what I determine to be true?
As someone who has spent most of this year from March to December alone, I must admit that the withdrawal from regular social life has not been the easiest and has come with its own set of demons glaring back in the mirror. Those who have spent considerable intentional time alone with self, for whatever reason can testify, the process of isolated self-reflection can surface a wonderland of thoughts and imaginations. I find this to be especially true in a world driven by social media and 24-hour nonstop reporting and commentary on anything and everything imaginable.
Withdrawal from many of the social and transactional interactions that shape our daily life and living has bread an intensified thirst for social media approval and sharing that has been both uplifting and helpful, while at the same time feeding new shadows of insecurity and self-doubt.
It is this awareness within myself that led me to start
questioning the assumptions I make daily that had come to serve as the frame
holding together my lens of the world around me. Stepping outside of myself to
observe my and other’s responses and reactions to social media posts and
stories has truly opened my eyes to the manufactured perspectives many of us
structure our lives around daily.
From one simple tweet, Facebook post or breaking news
opinion blog, our worlds can be turned upside down in reaction and response.
And not merely based on what has been presented, but usually based on the
backstory of assumptions we begin to align and tell ourselves in reaction. Where
reality TV may have brought many of us to boredom during this period, our own
imaginations fueled by social media has picked up the pace.
What I realize through my own reflection is that social
media reactivity has only replaced the assumption-based living that fueled much
of my former in person interactions. I think about frequent conversations with
friends, colleagues and associates dissecting actions, behaviors, or life
announcements of others. All it took was
one slight or direct action by another that was not known or understand and off
to races with scandal, doubt, and projection usually back onto self. “Was that
about me? How will this affect me? Should I post something? Is that a slight
towards me?”
When I stepped back and examined my thoughts and reactions, I was left frequently questioning much of what I had assumed to be true. The story lines, the plot changes, and frequent dramatic social episodes. Reacting and responding with full on assaults with maybe ¼ of an actual perspective; and always assuming the worse. I will not blame this frequent behavior on reality television, however this nonstop thirst for appearing to have an active and relevant social existence has been fueled by the culture and business of reality tv and social media commentary.
One thing reality television has taught me is that absent an actual story line or plot twist, one will be created. And, if I am honest with myself, which is the goal of this piece, I have been a frequent patron of the manufactured story lines around me and have even created a few of my own.
The reality of life and living is that most of what others
do or how they do it is very rarely in direct reaction to us? It is one line in
their life story that started well before most of us and/or is being written
absent us as a co-author. Yet, as the inertia of life often pushes and pulls, we
will lean into creating a story line based upon assumptions and often fueled by
consumption from skewed sources both manufactured and living.
While questioning one’s assumptions can at first ignite a
tailspin into self-doubt, trust me that it is not anywhere near the level of self-doubt
we inflict on ourselves daily by assessing our life and living based upon the storylines
of others through social media and gossip.
Try asking yourself, what are you assuming and what do you
know to be true?
Then if you are really daring, take it a step further; examine
your cited sources of consumption. Have they helped bring clarity and
understanding or have they fueled and feed the assumptions that have already
stolen so much of your time, life and living?
Free yourself.
Drop the assumptions, lighten your load, and make the shift
from consumption-based living to one fueled by clarity and understanding of
self-first and from there self-love will thrive.
“And in that All things are possible,
and nothing is out of reach!”
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